You and I really are friends now. We talk to each other in class, wave to each other in the hallways, comment on each others wall posts on Facebook, and we hug goodbye. What makes it better is that you're also friends with Jason, so we're able to all just stand around and joke with one another, and nothing is ever awkward. You're one of my first male friends that I've had since kindergarten. And now, I like you. Of course I can't have just a platonic friend. That's too easy, and high school is supposed to be dramatic. I don't really make much of my feelings though, 'cause as I said before, I don't plan on cheating on Jason, and honestly I don't think that you like me anyway.
You've gone through a few more girlfriends now that we've entered the second marking period. This one that you've gotten recently, Ginny, she's really short and cute, and you love being around her. I'm really happy for you, because I remember back when you thought girls weren't that into you, and now you're floating on air. If I can't be the one to make you smile, I'm glad there's someone out there to take my place. Woah! Let's punch the breaks there for a second, because remember, this is high school, and it's not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be dramatic. And what is high school's favorite dramatic move?
Do you just have some kind of hidden sense in your body, that attracts you to girls who are cheaters, that somehow comes across to you as "hot stuff?" No? Good, 'cause that would be messed up. Yet another girl has left you for someone else. I remember one day you were talking to me and Jason and you said that it had been your longest relationship yet: a little over a month.
Give me a second to deviate a little here. Here I was, almost a full year in, with my very first boyfriend, and I'm not anything amazing, and yet this effing wonderful guy, freaking amazing dude, can't get a girl to stick around for more than a month. World, what cruel trick are you playing in our adolescent lives?! Alright, focus.
I was starting to wonder if possibly some of your failed relationships were actually your fault. Not because you're a jerk, because sweetness, you're far from being one. You're awesome. But...you are a flirt. It might be a hobby of yours. Oh, how do I know you're a flirt? Dude, we're friends; as your friend I should know these things about you. Especially since I like you. I see you talking to those girls in class third hour. You tickle them, you tease them, you try to make them laugh, and sometimes, you're actually successful. I've chalked it up to being mostly playful flirting, that isn't intended to lead to a relationship. If it wasn't why would you be flirting with me like that, too? Yes, you are a playful flirt, and I like it. Even if it doesn't mean you like me, it's nice, and I don't need the emotional motives to it anyway. We both know I'm taken.
Oh wait, why do I keep forgetting this? This is high school. It isn't supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be dramatic.
Jason's personality really is the opposite of mine. I love him dearly, but his extrovert attitude just does not agree with my introvert all the time. Jason is...handsy. Don't get me wrong. Public displays of affection are totally my thing. I have no problem kissing Jason in front of other people. You of all people should know this. Flashback time...
Why did this happen multiple times to us? Because the universe likes to have teenagers have awkward moments with their friends? Oh yeah, that makes sense. It was after eighth hour and most students were already outside of the building, some waiting on their rides, others taking a walk to the store down the block, and still others already making their way home. Jason and I were walking on the staircase, and he was flirting heavily with me. He jumped in front on me on the step below the one I was standing on, and was looking into my eyes, before he kissed me. We were all alone so I didn't try pushing him away. Then after a little more than ten seconds, I started to feel as though we were being watched, and I opened my eyes a little. Out of the corner of my eye I saw some movement. I turned my head, breaking my embrace with Jason and there you were, creeping as silently as you could up the staircase, and you stared at us, your face expressionless. I instantly sat down and put my face, which felt extremely hot, into my hands, and I proceeded to bust out laughing. You and Jason were doing the same, except standing. Out of the 2000 + students in the entire school, you just had to be the one to catch me making out with my boyfriend. Oh, life...
So, I wasn't completely shy about expressing my feelings for Jason in public, but I had some boundaries you know, and those boundaries were being breached by Jason. He was groping me at the most inappropriate times, and I had told him multiple times that it bothered me, and I needed him to stop. He would stop for a day or two, but then would be back to it quickly. And that wasn't all. You know how he was into WWE. Well I was his plaything sometimes for his roughhousing. It's okay when you do it gently, and every once in a while, but Jason neither knew the meaning of "gentle" or "once in a while." His insensitivity to my needs were leading to fights between us, when I wouldn't want him talking to me or touching me. It never lasted more than a day, but it began to become one of the main reasons we ever fought.
It wasn't taking a horrible toll on our relationship, and it didn't give me any reason to end it. Every couple had complications from time to time. But I think there was something that rung as warning bell back then. Jason and I were having a casual conversation on the phone one night, as usual. I don't know how we got to the topic, but Jason asked me who I would be dating if I had never met him. At first I didn't want to answer, because it was a pointless question in general. It didn't matter to me who I'd be dating if I hadn't met him, because we did meet, and we were together, and any alternative wasn't really in my mind. Jason, however, pressed me for an answer, saying he wasn't going to be jealous or anything, he was just asking a playful question. So I told him the truth.
I would probably be dating you.
Jason paused. He paused. Jason is always talking, like, he seriously always has a come back for what people say, but he paused when I said that. And then he said, "...Oh, really. That's interesting. Haha."
I couldn't believe it. He was actually jealous. He wouldn't admit it, but there was obviously something intimidating to him about the thought of you and me being together. It was completely illogical to me. I was with him, right then, not you. I never flirted with you, or any other guy, and yet, here he was stressing a little over you. After that day, anytime I joked about any possibility of you and me being a couple, I could see him get uncomfortable. I just didn't get it. You and I were friends.
That was all.