Well, you're up to date now.
I wish I could bring some closure to this story. I wish I could end it with a "And they lived happily ever after" sort of ending. But the truth is, this story will continue until my last breath (and maybe even after that). How can I put an ending to something that will last long after I press the "Mark as ending" button?
I'm still healing. Every day is a process of finding my emotions again. Of choosing to believe in God's forgiveness. I will have ups, and I will have downs. But this time, I will not stay down. This time, I will remember that I don't have to be good enough.
Tomorrow, I will get up in the morning. I will choose to feel my emotions. I will choose to believe I am loved by those around me. I will choose to know that I am God's Beloved, even if I have days when my heart tells me I'm not good enough. I will choose to feel as valued as Idina is. I will choose to be an overcomer, because that's who I'm meant to be.
Strong people don't always come in the form of heroes. With God, I am strong, and I will beat scrupulosity and jealousy, day by day.
Because through it all, I have learned that I am stronger than the eating disorder I didn't have.