Alexander is, of course, one of the characters I created in my novel. I poured all my feelings into him and expressed my struggles through him. Mind you, this was all subconscious. I didn't even realize I'd been doing it until recently, when a couple dear Protagonize friends asked me about it.
But even though writing was healing, it wasn't enough. I was still spiraling down into a spiritual mess that needed the help of more than just emotional characters.
But I didn't want to tell people about my personal hell.