The next few months consisted of ups and downs. My spiritual life was on a downhill slope, due to my inability to feel. All the progress I'd made slowly began to melt away.
I began to distance myself from God again. I began to berate myself and condemn myself again. Though my emotionlessnness had become involuntary, I still believed I was guilty for it. Instead of talking to my friends and family about it, I shut all my feelings up within myself.
And released them in the form of Alexander.