So, instead of setting myself up to be rejected, I decided that I'd hate men. That way, when I was overlooked by the male species, I wouldn't feel awful. That which you hate, you cannot love, right? Right?
Ahhh, not right. Because no matter how much I drum into my system that men are losers and ought to be killed (pha, what a lie!), I still feel like some pathetic little worm when all the guys pay attention to my sister and not me. No matter how much I try to hate guys, I always end up crushing on some guy that invariably adores my sister.
This whole idea that "That Which You Hate, You Cannot Love" has gotten me into quite a bind. I am so uncomfortable and awkward around most guys that it's now impossible to allow myself to interact with them again. So now, it's not so much that I hate guys - it's that I don't know how to be myself around them.
What a twisted mess.