One of the things that plagued me rather often was the feeling that I didn't deserve God, so why should I consider myself able to know Him? Because of this, I found myself pulling away from my Creator. What a deadly mess...
On a particularly scrupulosity-filled evening, I was sitting on my bed. It had been a day since I'd read the Bible, and because of that, I was absolutely convinced that God was through with me. I believed that because I'd gone 24 hours without reading the Bible (a rare occurrence, of course, since I was trying my best to earn salvation), God had had it with me and was condemning me to hell.
So I sat there on my bed, the Bible in front of me. It wasn't in my hands, mind you - how could I dare to hold it?
I knew one of the only ways I could fix my spiritual mess was to read the Bible, but I didn't feel worthy. Goodness, I believed that if I so much as touched the Bible, God would punish me!
So I just sat there, having a stare-down with the Bible...wanting to read it but not allowing myself to.