Around this time, I tried talking to a couple friends about how I was feeling. You know - my jealousy and such. I wanted someone to listen, you know? I didn't need to be fixed - I just needed a listening ear.
But the friends who I told my feelings to immediately began to tell me all this advice. All this stuff about how I could fix my feelings, how I could stop being jealous of Idina, how I could (this was the worst, even though it was so true) start focusing on my identity in Christ instead of looking at how other people treated me.
Don't get me wrong - I most definitely try to give my identity to God. It wasn't the actual suggestion that rubbed me wrong - it was the fact that my friends were missing the point. I didn't want to be fixed, God bless their dear souls. Looking back, I appreciate their efforts to give me good advice.
But I didn't want to be told where I was going wrong. I had my self-condemnation to do that for me.