Self-Inflicted CondemnationMature

Here, let me read you something straight out of my journal again.

...No matter how much I follow You and beg You for forgiveness, I can't drive away this feeeling of, "I'm not doing enough to be saved." And that's totally NOT like me. I usually have no problem accepting gifts; I never scrutinize other people's forgiveness to me. I don't know why I have such a hard time [trying to earn Your Grace].

All this believing lies that I had to earn salvation brought condemnation down upon me. It was all self-inflicted condemnation - I see that now - but at the time, I was sure God was punishing me for not being perfect...

The End

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