If you have a family member with an addiction - whether it's an eating disorder or something else - then you may have felt the need to be perfect for the sakes of those around you.

Well, I just realized something tonight. Less than an hour ago. I was going to write about my OCD and anxiety when I stumbled upon this truth:

I have OCD because it stems from a need to be perfect at something.

My OCD especially developed during the worst moments of Idina's eating disorder. When I got back from Arizona, and everyone was going gaga over Idina (though she wasn't even back home yet), I needed to reassure myself that I was good at something. And I think that's when I subconsciously added OCD to my list of problems. Things like OCD can seem like a comfort when everything else in your life has gone awry.

Update, 11-26-12: I should tell you all something. I later found out that OCD is a result of something wrong with the brain (quite fascinating, really), so it did not stem from a need for perfection; HOWEVER, even though the root cause of OCD was not a need to be perfect at something, I later twisted the OCD and used it as a means of perfection.

The End

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