Letters from IdinaMature

We started getting all manner of encouraging letters from Idina. I have some snippets of those letters saved in my memory, things like "I ate a chocolate muffin today and thoroughly enjoyed it!" or "[one of her friends] and I have been challenging ourselves by eating our fear foods!"

For those of you who don't know (and it's okay if you don't), fear foods are specific foods that anorexics are most afraid of to eat. Almost every anorexic has their own set of fear foods.

Letters like these, along with (of course) God, were what kept me going in the middle of missing Idina. Everytime we saw a letter had come from her, we all gathered around and listened as my mom read them. We kept her letters everywhere - on the refrigerator, in the bathroom, on the dining room table. I read them over and over until the cards fell apart and the pencil marks got smudged. They were what I had left of Idina.

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