1st May 2010 - Entry #1

Today is the 1st May 2010 -  a new day, a new month, which means I 'pinched and punched' my sister this morning, resulting in a huge telling-off and punishment which I had to disagree with! I've always viewed the 'pinch, punch, first day of the month' crap as a quite sadistic thing. It gives children the message:

 "Hey, guess what, it's a brand new month - so I am going to physically damage you!"

It also encourages adults to hurt their children, and also gives them excuse for child cruelty:

"You're under arrest for child abuse!"

"But it's the 1st May!"

"Oh, alright then, we'll let you off!"

And then when the police have gone, that man starts to thump the kid round the back of the head with a dumbell.

Anyway, getting back to the subject of 'Diary Chronicles' - I woke up this morning and did exactly what I do every morning - look ay myself in the mirror and comment on how crap my hair looks. So, I mould it about a bit until it's right (process usually takes about 10 minutes) and then I go to the toilet... once I've done that, I look at myself in the mirror again and realise that all that straining and sweating has made my hair wet and stupid - so, another 20 minutes is spent trying to get it dry and perfect!

I don't know what it was this morning, but I had the irresistable urge to have a bowl of cereal this morning - and not just any ordinary cereal - a large bowlful of Special K Red Berry! I open the cupboard and what do I see - 3 BOXES OF SPECIAL K RED BERRIES...

...all of which were empty!

That's the great thing about my family. If the packaging is empty, they still keep it in the fridge, or cupboard or wherever. This applies to everyone in my family apart from my father who knows more about cleaning and washing-up then anyone in my house!

Well, today was a Saturday, so instead of having cereals, I decided to have a nice fry-up. We only had sausages. No bacon. No egg. No tomatoes. There were 10 closed-cup mushrooms, but the expiry date was April 24th so they were sent to the bin for a nice holiday in Decomposia. Luckily, we had some bread - but in the form of a white muffin (which was toasted to the extent that warmth was virtually non-existent on its surface). So, I had 5 sausages and a raw muffin.

One great thing that happened though was the fact that I acquired a Twitter account! My friends have been nagging me to get one:

"You should get one, it's like Facebook only... there's nothing to do on it!" - Holly (My GF - Yes, I HAVE ONE!)

"Yeah, you should like totally get a Twitter account... it's f***ing awesome!" - Chance (Can't say his real name, but all I know is that he's called Misfit on Protagonize.

Speaking of my GF - amazingly boring, miserable, lonely me has a girlfriend. And not just any girlfriend, the beautifulest, cutest, most fantastic girl I have ever met! Her name is Holly and I tried to go round her house today, but it turns out I couldn't which really bummed my entire day! She has the 'grandmother' staying over at her house for the weekend, which should be exciting for when I go round her's tomorrow (HOPEFULLY).

Has anyone ever noticed that when you look into the blue sky for a long period of time (or short, depending on your ASL - it would be greatly appreciated  if you gave me yours, just so I can come round your house one night and scare the s*** out of you) you start to see small blips/transparent weird things. If so, then I'm convinced that they're actually Alien UFOs trying to experiment with our atmosphere.

That's what global warming is caused by, aliens dumping their UFO greenhouse gases in our atmosphere - we're not doing anything, it's those darn extraterrestrial pumping their crap into our air! I say we should nuke the atmosphere like on Modern Warfare 2 and create a global EMP - Yeah, it'll be raining helicopters, airplanes and unicorns when I'm done with it...

Over the past few weeks I've been trying to see if My Chemical Romance will release any news on their NEW album - but oh no, they won't! As much as I like surprises and suspension, I really hate having to wait to find about my 2nd favourite bands new stuff (my 1st favourite band is Muse). So all today I've been singing songs like 'Death Before Disco' in my head, and sometimes out loud which has caused my father to look at me as  if he's going to disown me!

That's all I can really put right now... well, I'll be going now - I'm more tired than a half-dead hooker, so I'll be... *yawn* going...

The End

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