Here’s the assignment
Write Original 500-Word Article About A 1st Birthday - "Mickey Mouse Birthday"
Your article must comply with the following guidelines and requirements or your work will be rejected:
* Write a unique 500+ word article about a 1st birthday - "Mickey Mouse birthday".
* Write article in a factual, informative, news style.
SUBMISSION: Rejected! (Ouch!)
Is it a Mickey Mouse Birthday or a Birthday for Mickey Mouse?!
Let me tell you about one of the best birthday parties I’ve ever been to!
A seven year old child was slightly injured over the weekend while trying to invoke Satan by following a ritual he found on a friend’s internet page, during his brother’s first birthday party. Lucas vanDooeyhonk was found covered in twigs and scratches by firefighters after being called to the scene shortly after a large explosion rocked the Goosetown Memorial bandshell sometime between 4pm Monday and 2am last night. Local businesses recall unusual weather activity, which they had mistakenly attributed to a cold front descending on the area alongside a low pressure zone alongside a mild Jetstream. Local meteorologists were not available for comment.
The boy’s friend, Morton Clapereah, a member of the Goosetown Community Church of Satan, had posted the laviscous mutterings , the vanDooeyhonk culprit had allegedly chanted in order to bring back his neighbourhood pet, Snoopy from beyond the grave. Although van Dooeyhonk has not been charged and most of the charges would be based on speculation, the dirty culprit did it this way. By looking into a mirror, a la the evil witch in Snow White, vanDooeyhonk chanted “Mickey Mouse birthday, Mickey Mouse birthday, Mickey Mouse birthday, Mickey Mouse birthday” in order to bring on the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, according to some sources, should happen before May 21st, 2010. (Remember to set your clocks back)
Witnesses recall the boy was active within the neighbourhood and, through his dedication to killing small animals and neighbour’s pets was well known by all.
Anyhow, his brother’s birthday party? Fantastic. Little Gabriel (yes, the irony is worth a second look, you can’t make this stuff up) had a great time. Who knew that a one year old birthday party could be so much fun. To start it off, Helga and Marius vanHooeydonk ordered a 30 piece bucket with all of the fixins from the local Colonel, an ounce from the local supplier and a few fifths for their more nervous friends. Being avid lovers of cartoons the party was resplendent with figures from all of the popular and fun cartoon characters that kids love like Dragonball Z, powerpuff girls, the Simpsons and anything having to do with Hannah Barbera! While still completely clothed, the participants danced gaily adorned in costumes of Dora the Explorer, Jimmy Neutron, Rugrats, Danny Phantom and the neighbour, who dressed like Mr. Rogers for the occasion.
The mayor, Youfus Bandenfunk, made a special appearance and ended his speech by declaring into a bullhorn, “Hey! At least it wasn’t a Mickey Mouse birthday. Am I right?”, a fine closing that had the half nude party inhabitants erupting in cheer. Police Services Chief, Duncan Hines (I know, eh? No need to embellish - comedy writes itself), was heard yelping between a swig of the Bud and a dip into the chicken, “yeah, because Disney sucks.”
All in all, the group collected over $33.00 for Viacom’s Goodness 500 charity program, a program which has made significant impact on reducing toxic waste within Disney theme parks. So, that’s all from Goosetown this weekend, fond memories of not having anything close to a Mickey Mouse Birthday.