Just a stupid girl, trying to sort her thoughts out.
My mind and heart think not as one.
I'm going crazy to seek the true answer to all my worries,
Something always goes wrong.
Whether it be my inability to leave the boy who repeatedly broke my heart,
or that same boy's selfishness to overcome him,
forcing him to take what's 'his'.
Can he not see what he's doing to me?
My mind tells me leave but my heart says no.
The second I walk away from him my heart cries out,
"Why must you bring this sorrow upon me? Can you not see he is the one you love?"
In response to this my brain says,
"Leave him be! He is not deserving of our love! Time and time again we showed him how much he means to us, and he just threw it in our face! He knew not what he had and he threw it away, so this is his payment! To not have us... So heart, please leave him be, for all of our sakes."
My heart and mind both have good arguments. Its just, my mind usually wins over.
And yet every time I take my mind's advice it seems as if nothing had changed, and I'm back to my same old sobbing self.
So... instead of listening to my heart, or my mind, why not listen to my soul?
Dig deep down into the core of my very being and find what's right for ME.
Not anyone else.
Too long have I let others step on me like an old door mat.
Use me so they can clean the dirt off themselves, and leave it for me to deal with.
Never again shall I have my name dragged in the dirt...