The ASDA RapMature

I happened to walk past an ASDA (large UK supermarket chain) delivery depot and could hear the drivers listening to utterly terrible, crappy rap music. I couldn't help but be inspired while I was sat on the train to Banbury to write this.

We're supermarket kings, we're bad ass truckers
Online order grocery, deliverin' motherfuckers
But we've got a lesson for you, if you make a return
We'll put a cap in yo' ass, then maybe you'll learn

[chorus]

That nobody fucks with the asda crew
Delivering your shoppin' from the store to you
'Cos yo' ass is too lazy t'go to the store
We're deliverin' yo' shoppin' to yo' fuckin' door!

[/chorus]

We got phat beats, we got fresh meats.
We got your motherfucking groceries on a weekly repeat
We come snow and we come rain
And if we're late and then you fuckin' complain

You'll learn...

[chorus]

If your shoppin' is light that'll keep us tight
And if your shoppin' is heavy then you'll show you our might
But if ask us to deliver to floor 72
And there's only stairs, then we'll tell you...

[chorus]

Check, check, check, check, check, check, checkout!

The End

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