Ugly (uhg-lee) adjective - very unattractive or unpleasant to look at; offensive to the sense of beauty; displeasing in appearance.
When I look into the mirror everyday, I simply want to reach in and slash the face I see looking back at me. Because the face I see is me. And the face I see, I hate. Because the face I see is the face I'm stuck with. Was born with. And the face I'm stuck with, born with, is one of ugly. Not by anyone else's standards but my own. But yet standards I created based on others opinions.
Throughout all of history, beauty is worshiped and adored. Beauty is valued so preciously, and protected so valiantly. It's why we used gold as our money, and crown ourselves with jewels. It's why we miss the bright sun when it's clouded by a blanket of grey storm; why we are mesmerized by the moon and stars, and wash away our thoughts in music and in art. It's why nature designed the system so that those who were deemed "handsome" and "beautiful," would also be those likely to survive, and why the became the desired. It's why then the rest of us strive to be as close to that image as possible, even if that image is unrealistic and made up in our heads.
And this is why, in this pretty world of ours, where human hearts desire pretty things, to be ugly is a horrid curse.
Yes, there is truth in the saying that what is inside counts as well, but it's very hard to feel that or think that when society promotes otherwise, looks down on those who are ugly, as though inferior, and only chase after those who look like a dream.
It's so hurtful, so painful, to hear or know someone will never love you, never give you a chance, not because of who you are, but the packaging you came in. For the qualities you can't control. And it's even worse when you knew it from the beginning that'd it never happen. And that you really don't blame that person because you know you would never date you if it were beautiful, too.
And so eventually it really isn't a surprise you end up hating the other person in the mirror. Because they're looks are just make you look undesirable to others. Make you unworthy by society. And it wasn't any fault of your own, you were just born and ugly person and it just sucks for you, deal with it.
And you try to stop caring, and you forget for a while. But then you meet someone who gets your heart racing, and then your scrambling, because you don't know how to handle this, how to tell yourself that you're just not going to win. But you try anyway because you think this time it might be different.
And when you are rejected, it's no surprise, but hurts all that much. And as you watch your friends around you find their special someone, get married, make memories together, you feel like you're left in the dust. Like somehow you are a failure of a human being because you just happen to be ugly. And you deserve to feel rejected. Because ugly people should know they're undesirable.
And then finally, one day, you stop caring. You decide that if no one wants you, they don't have to have you, they have plenty of better and more attractive options, after all. And you instead focus on the things you love and have, rather then wallowing over the things you can't control. You party. You enjoy live. You eat what you want. You live. You stay in your house one full weekend and watch movies. And you spend time with your family and play games, talk, catch up on life. You listen to the music you want, do what you want, and have the time of your life knowing that, really, the only person in this world that should love you the most is you, and well, if you do, that really is success. You really did find someone. You found yourself. And really, what else do you need?
And then, eventually,
Because you love yourself,
Others begin to love you more too.
Maybe even that one person.