"Parting is such sweet sorrow."
Oh how true that quote can be.
Being told by him that he was leaving me.. going away, far away.. to be "a somebody".
But doesn't he get it..? He'll always be a somebody to me.. No need to go..
But of course I could never tell him that.. I can't stop him from his goals..
All I could do is support him, be there for him; to let him know that i'll always be here..
Even though it was unexpected, we always expected that it would have boiled down to this..
"Is it worth it?" He asked.
"Of course" I say.
"I love you.. but wouldn't you rather be with some other guy who can always be there for you?"
"Would you be happier that way if i was?"
"I thought so.. you know I love you too.. how could you ask me such a question..?"
"Because I believe you deserve better.. better than me.. I'm no good for you"
"Well i don't believe that.. you're good for me.. the best."
"You think so?"
"I know so, baby."
Little did i know that that question was suppose to prepare me for the big surprise.
"I have some bad news.. and some more bad news," he said, carefully. "Which do you want first?"
"Does it really matter..? They're both bad." I said wryly.
"Okay, well.. the bad news is we won't be seeing eachother longer than expected."
After having said this he looked at me to see the confused expression on my face.
"Then what's the more bad news part?"
"I'm joining the Marines.." again he looked at me pensively.
These wreched lips of mine.. speak damnit! say something!
"Oh." Genius, say something else!
But my mind froze, my eyes focused on one spot on the ground.
"You see, I asked you if it was worth it because i know that it would be unfair of me to ask for you to wait for me."
"It made it seem like you didn't want me anymore." I said, staring into his eyes.
"Not wanting you is impossible, my dear." He chuckled.
"Then what's going to happen to us when you leave? When are you leaving? For how long?"
"It depends babe, would you still want me? Would you still love me after the questionable pass of time? I don't know when i'm leaving yet. Probably 2 years, then I'll be back.. then I'd have to leave for another year or so."
"Are you thinking about it?"
"Please think deeply about it."
"Shh, I am."
I dont' know how long it took me to answer. We sat side by side in silence with his arms around me; holding me tighter as I was making my decision. I do remember how bad the wind was gusting past us. No wonder he was holding me so close, he felt cold and he was taking all my body heat. He already took my heart away and now, he was returning it. Though in reality, I would have given it to him ages ago; my body, my heart.. If I had known our time was limited. It was too late now.
Or was is it?
"No." i told myself.
"Really? Oh.." His eyes fell to the floor.
Soon i realised why he became sad.
"No, sweetie, I mean Yes!" I said quickly.
"Oh thank God!" he hugged me tighter.
I felt his sigh of relief on my cheek.
"Are you sure honey? Like really sure?"
"Think about it this way sweetie, would you wait for me?"
"Yes," he smiled, "I'd wait for as long as it takes to be with you."
"Well, then sweetie.. I'm not leaving you." I said with a small grin forming on my lips.
"I love you so much honey, never ever leave me..." he pleaded.
"I love you too sweetie.. I promise to never ever leave you if you promise the same thing.." I bargained.
"I promise." He whispered and slowly dipped his face closer to mine.