Archaic Re-imagining: "I'm On A Boat" - The Lonely Island (first 4 verses)

Indeed, excrement! Obtain some towels and ready them

For the event is about to begin;

All gentlemen and gentlewomen within this abode strike the deck

But stay on your extremities which fornicate with mothers-

We are in charge of the situation, let us begin!

 

I'm aboard a schooner, I'm aboard a schooner, 

I would request that all people present lay eyes upon me,

(Since I am sailing whilst aboard a schooner)

I'm aboard a schooner, I'm aboard a schooner, 

I would request you strain your vision to closely examine this boat which has fornicated many times!

 

I'm aboard a schooner, fornicater of mothers, look upon me

Flowing upon a schooner within the azure oceans in a linear fashion

Surpassing the nautical speed of five knots, whilst the wind causes my overcoat to billow wildly

You can't stop me, fornicator of mothers, due to the fact that I am aboard a schooner!

 

I would request you craft a portrait, I'm on a schooner, female dog, 

We are drinking champagne produced by the musician known colloquially as "Santana" due to its crispness,

I have obtained my bathing costume and my sandals,

My servants are basting and roasting Hamburg Steaks whilst you are at the establishment known as "Kinko's" procuring copies of documents.

 

(Wow, that was actually hard.)

 

The End

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