Some thoughts on Love

A brief treatise on the three main types of love.

Love... It comes in many forms. Familial, friendly, and romantic are the main three. My thoughts right now are on romantic due to the fact that I made the mistake of watching The Fault in Our Stars while I'm still mourning over losing my love to my own stupidity...

Familial love. This is usually our first experience with love. As no one is born an adult we grow into this love. Some are unfortunate in that they do not have as much in the way of familial love as others. I, myself was born into a broken home. I have a loving mother that loves me enough for herself and the father that was never there. Somehow she managed to raise a boy into a man by herself. I know I would never have been able to manage such an impressive feat of love, not out of lack of love but because I know how much pain I've put her through. Familial love is the closest bond we have... It is the love we depend on for growth, guidance, and it sets the example of how the friendly and romantic loves are going to be for our lives.

Friendly love. It goes beyond acquaintances and merges with the familial love previously mentioned. For when you truly love your friends they become family. They can walk into your house without knocking on your door, go straight to your refrigerator, and proceed to eat your favorite food without fear of serious reprisal. You forgive their offenses, as they forgive yours. You get into fights, all the while knowing that you would murder any other person that would dream of harming them. They become brothers and sisters rather than just friends. And even though one may become hooked on all manner of illegal pharmaceuticals because he cannot live with himself for some reason, no matter how perfect his life seems with his wife and children, you will forgive him for all the pain that he causes you.

Romantic love... The elusive, oftentimes mystical, feeling deep down in your soul. Some find it, some lose it, some never want it, and some spend their whole lives devoted to its pursuit. I have been all of these. I spent my whole life wanting to find someone to cherish and spoil, found her, then lost her, swore I'd never love again only to have her come back into my life and open up the love that I'd locked away with just one smile... And then I lost her again... I lost her so that she could find herself. I left her so that she could leave the pain from the relationship between ours with a mentally abusive person that didn't deserve to see her smile. Even when she would smile I could see the pain in it... Like she expected me to become him. She's got scars from that and many more things... Most men love a woman for her smile... I love her because of her smile. It's not because of the beauty of her smile, which is quite extraordinary, but simply because of the fact that she can smile through the scars. Seeing her smile through her scars made me realize that I could smile through my scars... From the very first day that I met her I was in love. When she looked at me it was as if she looked not only into my eyes but into my soul. It felt like she could see my scars, my pain, my weakness, and everything less than desirable about me but she still wanted to look at these things just to see me... I can go on and on about how she makes me the young, smiling, gentle, kind man that I was before I acquired the majority of my scars... I can also go on about how I have the courage to say all these things online where anyone can see them but I can't find the courage to tell her something simple... And that should give you a clue as to what romantic love is. It's emotions... Logic usually has no place in romantic love. Romantic love should be based in friendly love before it moves to familial love. Most people lack the knowledge that romantic love encompasses all these things...

My final word on love is this: If you don't have it, find it. When you find it, keep it.

The End

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