So, my final year. When GCSE's approached I quit my weekend job, wanting to use the extra time to revise. My dad would ignore World of Warcraft for one thing and one thing only. TO make sure I was keeping p with my studies, especially science. Two years beforehand my brother had decided he didn't want to be an architect but that he wanted to work in a pre-school. I didn't mind, good for him. Nor did my dad, but his attention turned to me.
I guess my dad wanted one of his kids to be 'successful' in life. In my opinion living it with a good sense of integrity and morale is good enough. But I guess he wanted one of us to have an above average job or something. So I concentrated on sciences, feeling the fun I used to have for it disappear. I found a book in the library, it looked at the adolescent brain and how it was different from adults and children. This was where I first read about depression and how it was common for teenagers to experience a bout of it.
I tried to mention it to my parents, they weren't interested. My whole life if I ever went off school because I was ill I'd hear the same spiel from my dad. 'Get over it already' or 'you're not ill', etc. His whole attitude was suck it up and I realised that's where mine had come from. I didn't want to be like that though. To this day I can't fully shake my overly blunt way of being. I wish I could. I'm the girl who'll answer your question honestly. So don't ask me if you look good in a dress or if you're getting fat.
Ella spent three weeks straight whining that she was fat and she was a skinny short thing. I had enough of saying she was and so agreed with her to shut her up. She fumed at me for days but my message got across cause she stopped whining. Ella and Rhoan got together, I can't remember if it was year 10 or 11 to be honest. They seemed pretty damn perfect for each other. Rhoan had his own issues at home similar to Ella. I don't know the details of what happened between them. But by the time school ended they were broken up. Ella won't talk about him now, just saying she hates him.
I'm aware there haven't been many good memories so far, but they are coming. I swear! Just need to finish secondary school. I turned sixteen and everything changed. I was legal, if I went out with a guy something was expected of me. But there was good news that year, my dad quit the army. He had one year left and then we were out. The idea made me jump up and down. I couldn't wait.
I realise I haven't mentioned my external family much and for that I feel utterly stupid. So here's the sum up. My mothers side of the family are from Scotland, so we don't see them very often. Most Christmases were spent with dad's sister's family. Growing up I hated it, I was the youngest out of my brother and two cousins. This meant they'd go off and have adult conversations and I was left alone with the adults. But they also wanted their own adult conversations. I was also terrified of my cousins cats until I hit fifteen. Smudge glared at me, I swear!
My cousin June was really into drama and managed to get the part of an extra in the movie Atonement. Everyone was happy and cheering, sure she was going to get far. My other cousin, Kyle played the drums and joined numerous bands. I guess creativity is a big part of our genes or something. I got more into writing and would stay up late typing away. My writing had improved over the years, but nowhere near as good at the level I manage nowadays.
When I was twelve we went on a family holiday to Florida with them and my dad's cousin's family. My second cousins were nice enough. Though I wasn't the youngest anymore and good god Dan was spoilt. As was his older sister, though she was a lot more mature than him, being a little younger than June who was fifteen at this point I think. It completely threw me watching him throw tantrums over the smallest of things. I asked my mum if I was ever like that and she said no. She never let me reach that point when I got mad.
I loved sharing a room with June and my second cousin. Although I had met Amy at this point I'd never had a sleepover, so this was the closest to one I'd had. But then my second cousin had her first period and I was kicked out. I had to sleep on a small pull out bed in the same room as my parents. It sucked but I got over it. We went to Universal and all those places and I spent everyday in the swimming pool. Overall it was a great holiday, we spent Christmas there and decorated a small palm tree after us kids insisted we needed a Christmas tree.
My birthday was the same day my dad's cousin's wife was. It was also the day we were travelling back. So the day before we went out for some medieval themes party and dinner thing. We got to watch guys on horseback spar like on TV, it was fun. But I couldn't fully enjoy it because it was for her birthday, not mine. My dad told me not to make a fuss, they'd be something for me too. When the plane landed back in England the guy announced it as my birthday. It was nice and of course lovely thought on my parent's part. But I still felt like I'd been shoved to the side. I wasn't even the youngest this time and somehow had gotten ignored more than Dan, courtesy of his tantrums.