Let's get back to Molly. My efforts to convince her to stay away from the instructor had thus far failed. Then one day she walked into the park looking particularly proud. I asked what had happened, dreading the answer. By year 10 most of the people me and Molly had hung out had left. The new people who'd moved in were mostly chavs. Leaving me as the lone goth. Not many of them were very keen on me. And one guy, Tom, was particular vocal about his dislike of me. Though what I did with Molly changed his opinion of me I think.
She told everyone that she and the instructor had had sex, in the barracks gym toilets apparently. The way she said it, it was most likely a lie. But I just couldn't take that chance. I stood up instantly and walked past her, she knew exactly what I was going to and grabbed my arm, yanking me back.
“Don't tell my mum!” she yelled. Her friends watched me. I wondered how they could side with her. They were acting as if Molly having sex with a 40 year old was perfectly acceptable.
“He's taking advantage of you, aren't you the slightest bit pissed about that?!” I yelled back pulling back my arm.
She begged more and I said I wouldn't talk. But the next day I did. I felt horrible betraying her trust that way. But The idea of letting another guy take advantage of a girl made me too mad to really care. I just wanted to get him behind bars. I know in the back of my mind I was looking for my own justice. For some way to feel better about Jamie who got to just walk away.
Molly found me in the park the next evening. I'd been sitting on the swings alone listening to my MP3 player. She yelled bloody murder at me and made it clear she wanted nothing else to do with me. After that no one my age in the barracks would hang out with me. All taking Molly's side. I wasted many days trying to get her to reconsider, but she didn't want to hear it. Somehow she convinced her parents it was a bad joke.
Then I heard her talking about how they'd done it again. I walked like a women on a mission and sat down with her mother. I told her everything, including the conversation in the field. I got more screaming from Molly but I didn't care. She was too immature to see how much this guy was screwing up her life. From my perspective I was being the good guy, intervening and helping her without her really knowing or understanding.
I still spent many days crying in my bed because she ignored me or yelled abuse. My dad grew concerned by how quiet I'd become. I barely ate anything or seemed interested in anything more than listening to music. I was dreaming up a whole other world that I could run too. I dreamed up the perfect prince and the perfect friends. Amy knew something was going on between me and Molly, when I told her she with held her opinion. Did she think I should've kept it a secret? I didn't ask.
Our parents tried to get us to make up, but it didn't work. She wouldn't listen to my calm words, just yell at me to get out of her life. Her younger sister and brother had grown to like me and didn't understand what was going on between us. On reflection I wonder if it was actually the instructors son. I did try to talk to him as well, concerned. But he'd always just say his dad wouldn't do that. He never acted as surprised as you'd expect.
So I lost one of my best friends and everyone in the barracks ignored me. Somehow things got reversed and the only friends I had where the ones in secondary school. If anyone is curious, I posted a set of lyrics on protag inspired by the whole Molly thing. “The Way You Are” is in my first book of lyrics.
Depression got worse. I smiled and joked everyday at school. But it all felt pointless, all the things that used to matter didn't matter as memories of Jamie moved the forefront of my mind. The only good part of that year for me was the Christmas concert. The music teacher let me sing a solo. Everyone was ready to sneer at me, but everyone was surprised. Least, no one made fun of me. Ella is and always will be the best singer out of me, her and Amy.
So, into year 11 I go.