Sick Enough!

Have you heard of what is commonly called the "sick enough" syndrome?
Be glad if you haven't.
Here's a writing of sorts, written about one of the most frustrating - and yet compelling - mindsets out there.

Sick Enough!

It starts out itty bitty
But then begins to grow
Comparisons of pain
Self-evaluating sickness

She just wanted to be sick enough.

Pain is discredited
Waved aside by its recipient
She delves more deeply
To become more miserable.

She just wanted to be sick enough.

Sick enough to deserve
People's love and help
To deserve anything
Given to her.

She just wanted to be sick enough.

No help could be
Received without guilt
For her pain wasn't real
Not real enough.

She just wanted to be a little sicker...

Self-induced misery
Psychological and physical
Didn't consider herself a self-harmer
Because she never actually cut.

She just wanted to be a little sicker...just a little sicker...

Nobody around her
Could convince her
She discounted their words
She didn't know pain.

Just a little sicker, and then she'd deserve pity!

Diving deep again
Immersion in condemnation
She hurt herself
To see if she was sick enough.

God help her, all she wanted was to be sick enough!

The fact that she wondered
The fact that she doubted her pain
The fact that she wasn't satisfied
Until she was as miserable as possible
The fact that she was broken
The fact that she denied it all
The fact that others recognized her pain
Even if she didn't herself

The fact that she wanted to be sick enough
Proves that she was sick enough!

The End

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