SECOND THOUGHTS: A MONOLOGUE
Why didn't I listen to my mother and become a dentist?
I mean, sure - being a supervillain is often very rewarding, but it I'm not sure anymore it's the job for me.
As a young, ambitious teenager, I was quite excited about the shiny new cape, catchy name, and "mountains of spoils" I was sure to get. But I overlooked the one downer to this occupation: work.
It takes a lot of time, energy, and - well, let's face it - money, to construct a plasma ray to rob a bank. And then, wouldn't you know it, just as I had grabbed my first load of hundred-dollar bills, the police came dashing in.
My cousin is a dentist. He was smart; he studied, went to college, and became a successful man. Not like me, of course. I had to go and dream!
And how fun would being a dentist be?! I mean, I have to go through all the trouble to go and find some little children to harm! But people line up at his doorstep just so he can get his little tools in there and rip out their molars. And he gets paid for this!
Well, I suppose I deserve this, what with me not planning ahead. I'm afraid this may be my last memoir - this jail food is going to kill me.