I stumbled upon this in an old school copy in my room today. I have no recollection of ever writing this or when I wrote this but it is unmistakably my handwriting despite the writing to be quite broken and incomplete (I finished it to how I saw fit). Judging by the school copy I would have been the ages of and between 15-17. I wonder what I was thinking at the time? I seemed kinda lost.
Over time, any sentence uttered long and loud enough becomes fixed. It becomes a truth. Provided, of course, you can outlast the voices of your opponents and silence them eventually. Although, should you succeed, and remove all the challengers, then what remains, by default, is now the truth despite how farfetched it may seem.
Is it truth in some objective sense? No it not, but does one ever achieve an objective point of view? The answer is you don't. It is literally impossible. There are too many variables. Too many fields and formulae to consider. We can try, of course. We can inch closer and closer to a revelation but we'll never reach it. Not ever.
I have studied the ancient 'Pagan' (Christianity called any other religion apart from theres Pagan) faiths that came before this more recent obsession with a single divine creator. The Pagan religion seemed to have focused more on the fundamental forces at play in the world around us and less on trivial moral rules like the Christian religion does.
The sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening. The tides ebb and flow. Plants grow, wither and dies and then in time, emerges from the ground once more. The air turns warm and then cools and the seasons turn and change all the time from spring to summer and summer to autumn and autumn to winter and back to spring again. Some hidden energy keeps us keeps us fitted to the ground and pulls us back when we attempt to leave it by jumping upwards or other such means.
Each of these cycles and many more were represented by a god or godess in Pagan religions. Each force was given a name, but was also recognized as something distinct and powerful. Which is not to say there were not any connections between the forces. They were invisible hands guiding the progress of the world around us and were revered for it.
So here there was an attempt to categorize, study, explain and understand the way things worked, even if it was greatly flawed, as science wasn't as advanced as it is now but that all ended when Christianity came about. Now we are asked to believe in a more simplified explanation. How naive to believe that there might be a single answer to every question and to every mystery. That there exists a lone divine light which rules over all. They say it is a light that brings truth and love. I say it is a light that blinds us, and forces us to stumble about in ignorance.
I long for the day when mankind will turn away from invisible monsters and once more embrace a more rational view of the world, but these relatively new religions are so convenient, and promise such terrible punishment should one reject them. I worry that fear shall keep us stuck to what is, surely, the greatest lie ever told.
Our lives are so brief and unimportant. The stars in space care nothing for us or for what we've done, had we wrought evil instead of good, none of it would have mattered. There is no counting 'sins', no reckoning, no final judgement. There is simply silence and darkness. Utter and absolute, and so I have begun to wonder, might there not be a way to stop or at least delay deaths embrace?