Chicks be DIGgin' a brother
Who's resPect-in' his mother,
But in matters of the heart
there is ALLways TWO parts
to conSIDer:

We girlz say: HEY
We be no furniture supplier:
We can't two-year-guarantee him
that we'll always take him higher;
And if we slip up bad
and bring a good brother down
by doin' some dippy thing
that makes his sweet face frown
We be back (yeah, waayy back),
reMIXing SatisFACTion with Mick JaG-ger.

[Eeeuw.]

But if the brother is an #&^!!!%
and things end-up not goingRight,
We be telling all our girlFriends
that our dawg was just a $%^!E -
And besidez:
Who would EVA miss a DiG-ga
dat wuz da braaivleis eatin' type?!

Know-what-I'm-saying?

...

I could elle-aborate
on some Advanced Driving skillz,
but that could take a while
to do Manolo-Blahnik style
and right now:
I gotta do some w0rk to pay the billz.

Word.

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Author guidance for This work

This is an ancient scrap of rap battle, circa 2002 - written in response to a friend's scathing criticism of women's behaviour in (and after!) relationships.

Note: "Braaivleis" is the South African word for something like a barbecue - but it does have strong cultural connotations that are not conveyed by using the more generic noun.

updated Jan 7 by coleman