Reflection

Refracting light overwhelms my vision as I try to watch for your coming. In the moments of blindness a whisper of a dream peeks at my memory, and the suddenness of sensation makes my eyes fly open and dissipate the storyline of my thoughts. A shift in conscious attention makes me wonder if you are hidden in the light. But my eyes adjust; you are not there and the shadows of dusk begin to take over.

The sound of movement awakes me, and the confusion of my mind makes sound impossible to comprehend. But the eyes are faster and I see myself in the speeding water at my feet: a reflection in the creek, distorting my true image is just as I become a distorted reflection of you. Your thoughts, actions, and moods absorb into my being and become my own. Not a copy, but an imitation twisted and changed by the pebbles in my personality.

I dream of my reflection, the one that will be like me. She is beautiful and sweet and full of caring love. A darkness enfolds her, but only when she chooses. Mostly she is LIFE. Full and flowing; smiling and empathizing. This image of me will hold the characters of another within her being. The grace she exhibits also holds a touch of haughtiness and pride. A quickness to anger and a passion I never had. She cries like me, but she screams like someone else. Where is my reflection? My perfect copy? It is not possible, because I am my own, and so is she. What a beautiful creature you are!

The water at my feet has swollen past my control. I’ve concentrated so much on the pictures I’m imagining, that I no longer have a hold on the reality. But is this really reality? Is it true I fell asleep alongside a winding, mirror-like creek, only to wake up and get lost in its mesmerizing twisting and tumbling? It moves fast enough to carry me away, but I will not struggle. I want to see where this vessel of movement will take me. Perhaps to those places I am dreaming of?

I am reflecting, reflecting. I am like you, and she is like me. But wait! Let us trade- I want you to be like me, and I will be like her. I want her passion, and you need my peace! Reflect me, so I know you can be happy with who I am. I try to be like you, but that is not efficient, for I am a bad liar and a worse imitation. Nothing is truth, and it is unsettling. Be like me! Be like me! I need your approval; I need your love; But I need you to be truly satisfied. Your kind does not love innocence forever. No, I will still be hanging around when you finally realize: I am not the one for you. I am not the one to reflect you. Choose another.

Refracting light overwhelms my vision as I try to watch for your coming. In the moments of blindness a whisper of a dream peeks at my memory, and the suddenness of sensation makes my eyes fly open and dissipate the storyline of my thoughts. A shift in conscious attention makes me wonder if you are hidden in the light. But my eyes adjust; you are not there and the shadows of dusk begin to take over.

The End

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