Stuff I wrote when depressed over breaking up with my gf.
Add ANYTHING you want; the more the better.
Tears fill the eyes as the cloying closeness of the cell I call my room oppresses me; how I wish to be out there, in the open, without these humans emotions to tie me to one place, to the different people in my life. What is worth the agony of a betrayal that can reach so deep, that can hurt so much?
No one person is worth it, and if there is a person who challenges that; I ask them to bring their evidence before me. The more you love someone, the more chance you give them to hurt you, and the more you love them, the more that betrayal of hearts hurts.
I would give much, if not all, to be able to say the reverse is true, but I know the hidden fallacy, the façade that this 'love' is. Without it, the world would be both a happier and worse place;
Happier that no-one would go through the agonising, heart wrenching pain that love causes, but it would be a worse place for those that truly, purely love each other wouldn't know it. Even a love as pure as that is not worth the agony it can cause; indeed, a pure love creates more heartache for there is no reason for the breaking of hearts to occur; yet despite this it happens anyway; how can any human that could wilfully inflict that upon someone else be called human? They leave behind all humanity when they allow themselves to be the enactors of an already foretold pain; pain that had been gnawing since the two hearts originally garnered the affection. It was doomed since the birth; as are we all.
The fallacy, the façade... Yet how intoxicating when we allow ourselves to believe that it is real... How exhilirating, so much so we forget any notions of sensibility and fall prey to the petty whims of the heart that care not for what may happen when those whims come to fruition and come to naught; but sand and dust, pain and anger.
Friends; that grandoise concept which merely represents the substantial minority that is the people we know in life we don't hate beyond reason and can talk to about the things closest to us.
Lies; trying to tell us that they think it's their fault that they blame us for the fact they no longer want us. The feeling of intense guilt as they twist the situation to make it your fault and then the sudden clarity when you see through the smoke cover of their trips of guilt and realise you have nothing to be guilt-ridden for, you are in the right, wholly and completely.
Life; a scathing magnitude that cares nothing for the wellbeing of any meaningless being.
A relief; a weight off the mind. No need to be anxious, just the utter relaxation of knowing that I need only be by myself; no-one expecting me to share my mind or heart