Help! My God!
My cat is on fire!
I wasn't playing with matches,
I wasn't trying to do it, sire.
I only wanted to see what she'd do,
If I held a match to her tail.
I wanted to singe a few hairs off,
And laugh into a tankard of ale.
She's chasing that tail frantically,
Fascinated by the glow.
There's water in the kitchen,
But then I'd miss the show.
Now she's gazing at me sadly,
Master, you let me down.
But really, does it matter?
Cat's just a common noun.
I wish I hadn't written that now. I love cats, and it's rubbish anyway. Oh well.