The other day, I was sitting in my English class, and we were doing poems.
We were doing love poems.
My teacher asked us to write down what we thought love was.
All the girls had sickeningly sweet sayings like, 'Love is like a box of chocolates ...', 'Love is protection, honesty and happiness,'... blah blah blah.
While the boys had copied the girls next to them, and twisted them a bit.
I thought. And thought. And thought.
What the HECK is love anyway? It isn't what you predict! It isn't anything like you thought it would be as a child.
I know I'm only fourteen, but I can honestly say that as I sat there in my English class ... I was the most confused person ever.
It got to my row.
Boy; "Love is understanding.'
Teacher; "Nicely put."
Girl; "Love is the best feeling in the world, along with the worst."
I agreed. So did the Teacher.
Next girl (I'M NEXT.); "Love is something that makes you cry, laugh and the happiest you could ever be."
Teacher; "Very good."
I gulp. I have nothing. I'm considered to be the one who is an expert when it comes to love (don't ask ...)
Teacher; "And you Niamh?"
Mm ... remember how I said I didn't have anything? Yeah, I should have thought harder, shouldn't I?
Me; "The thing is miss, I don't know,"
Teacher (clearly mistaken); "explain more."
Me (going along with it); "Well, it's just ... I've never been in love."
Teacher (raises eyebrows as if to ask for more).
Me; "I'm only young(ish). I don't understand how I'm supposed to know what love is. I guess it's only a word. 'Love' typically is associated with the emotions that are evoked when we see someone attractive. Or someone that draws our attention in a romantic way. So ... I guess saying 'I love you.' is exactly the same as saying 'I hate you.' If the emotion is there ... then why would we need to express it with such a ridiculous word?"
OK. So I went overboard. And got mixed comments afterwards.
But this is my point. What the hell does the phrase 'I love you' mean? It has no meaning without the emotion behind it, and if you have the emotion behind it? Why must you express it with those dulling, cliched words?
I'm not saying that if you have ever spoken these words (and meant them) that it has been false, I'm merely saying that if you do love someone, why must you tell them? Surely they would know from your actions?
Language confuses me.
I literally did 'DUMP' my thoughts!