If you are who I think you are, I might have some assistance to offer. My name is Hepworth, a great wizard of the highest stature!! Got boils that you can't seem to kick? An annoying neighbor that stole your goat? An evil lord that's taking over the land? Look no further! Hepworth is the wizard for you!
Just walk along the winding path up through the northern mountains, past the waterfall of eternal youth; you'll find a pub called the King's Grave, ask for Lepworth (my soundrel of a brother). He'll direct you to a cavern. In that cavern is a sign. Follow the directions on the sign, it'll point you the right way through the Caves of No Return. On the otherside is another sign (or a rock? I can't remember). Follow the directions. Watch out for the deadly Warples. And there I am!
Come on over, Brandon! I've got the solution you're looking for.
--Hepworth the Great.