"Set this movie right beside your Bible," my older brother told me when I came to him seeking some advice for my disastrous love life, "because that is what it is the Bible of Relationships."

The movie he was talking about, of course, is Swingers, the movie that helped launch a career for the likes of stars Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau.

My brother then counted off several key tidbits of wisdom provided in the film.

1. Never talk to girls about puppy dogs and ice cream because it'll always end up on the friendship tip. (Strike one: a girl I liked named Erin talked to me about these two very subjects when I was into her and then promptly married a guy named Ben who was dark and mysterious.)

2. Never call a girl the day you get her number. Two days is industry standard, but four days is kinda money. (Strike Two: if only it had said, never look up a girl in the student directory that you hardly know and ask her out during the winter. Snow should only be an excuse to get out of school.)

3. If you're going out with your fraternity brothers to hit the clubs, always take your own car. You never know who's gonna hook up and who's gonna strike out. (Strike Three: I was running wing-man interference for a former friend. He ended up in the bedroom with a rather ugly and skanky girl. I ended up watching TV in the living room while her skankier and uglier roommate cozied up to me. Ew. If I'd only taken my own car!)

The portion of the movie that helped me most in life; however, was a scene late in the movie when the main character is depressed and struggling to get over his ex and his friend Rob shows up with Orange Juice and advice that always seems to speak to me whatever my problems are.

Rob: You don't look at the things that you have, you only look at the stuff that you don't have. Those guys are right about you - you're money. 

Mike: Then why won't she call? 

Rob: She won't call because you left. she's got her own life to deal with, man, and that's in New York... alright? And she's a sweet girl, and I love her to pieces, but f--- her, man. You gotta get on with your life. You gotta let go of the past. And Mikey, when you do, I'm telling you: the future is beautiful, alright? Look out the window. It's sunny every day here. It's like manifest destiny. Don't tell me we didn't make it. We made it! We are here. And everything that is past is prologued to this. All of the s--- that didn't kill us is only - you know, all that s---. You're gonna get over it. 

Mike: How did you get over it? I mean, how long did it take? 

Rob: Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is, man. It's like, you wake up every day and it hurts a little bit less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is, is that, this is kinda wierd, but it's like, it's like you almost miss that pain. 

Mike: You miss the pain? 

Rob: Yeah, for the same reason that you missed her... because you lived with it for so long.

The End

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