Today I saw her. I had to look closely because I wasn't quite sure but, yes it was her. She shuffled around the little donut shop. Her hair was gray, long and knotted. She twisted her fingers around the change she held.
I didn't speak to her, I just watched. She stared at the display case, entertwining her fingers in her hair, tilting her head to the side as if this, was the greatest of all her decisions.
I fought with myself, should I go over and say something or, would it be better if I just remained silent, left her in her cold, heartless world
of anonymity? I didn't know what to do.
How did this happen, what drove a person away from their family and, a promising future.. She had been voted most likely to do anything she wanted to, when did it change, where did it start to go wrong?
She picked out a "twister" and a cup of cocoa. The young boy behind the counter told her, she didn't have enough money. She stared at the two items then, decided on heat over removing pain.
She took the cup in both hands and I realized she still wore her class ring.
I walked to the counter, asked for three "twisters" and one ham and cheese "croisant". I slipped twenty dollars in the bag with the pastries and handed it all over to her.
She turned towards me, I thought to thank me but, she threw the bag in my face and told me she didn't need a f---g handout from some uppity b---....
And I recognized, she wasn't mentally ill, she wasn't ill at all, she wasn't a wretch of this cold world, bad times hadn't befallen her, she was still the proud, thankless, nasty rude b--- she had been in high school.. only difference, now she was a bag lady.
The bag had fallen on the floor, I stepped over it and walked out, if she wanted it, she could make herself small and pick it up. Never liked the b--- anyway...