Scene 24

WHSMITHS – INTERIOR – BOOKS 

[ELLIE and KATE are surrounded by shelves of books. They make their way to the ‘T’ section.] 

KATE

T … T … Trollope … Treadgold … Treece … 

ELLIE

Trollope? What kind of a name is that?

KATE

An unfortunate one. Thompson … It’s no good, I’m going the wrong way.

[she scans the shelves again] 

ELLIE

There – Tolkien. We’ve found it. Hang on, how much is it? I haven’t got much money on me and there are three of them…

KATE

I hope not too much. I only brought ten pounds. Shouldn’t be too much more than that, though. I should think we’ll be able to pay.

[KATE pulls the books off the shelf and looks at the price] 

ELLIE

Well? How much?

KATE

Altogether it comes to … about fifteen pounds, I think. £14.97.

ELLIE

That’s not too bad. And they’re so fat, too. Why do you think they’re so cheap?

KATE

Don’t ask me. Probably because they’re old and so many have been sold etc. I mean, look at all the popular books. Harry Potter and that lot. They’re never sold at the Recommended Retail Price, are they?

ELLIE

Don’t ask me. I never go to bookshops. Reading isn’t really my thing.

KATE

And yet you agreed to help me write a script … I’ll never understand you. Let’s go pay. There’s no reason to hang around here all day.

ELLIE

I only agreed to write the script because it was our own lives! As for being a character … well, let’s just say it’s much more fun living in the real world, where there aren’t massive gaps on the map because the Author forgot to describe that part of the town.

KATE

True, true…

ELLIE

And having more shops than just the one you always go to – that’s handy. I hate it when they just say, “There was a Starbucks” because the characters always find that there’s only a Starbucks.

KATE

And trust me, you can’t spend all your life drinking coffee. You’ll end up skint.

ELLIE

Do you mind? I’m telling this story, not you. 

KATE

It’s not a story. It’s a moan about how rubbish it is living in a fantasy world where everything is controlled by one rather lazy, forgetful author.

ELLIE

Not lazy. Just doesn’t want to do more work than she has to.

KATE

And who would? I sympathise. Now, come on. If we pay for this quickly we can get home and ask her to write it into the story, before she has time to write us into another book. Keep her busy, that’s what I say.

ELLIE

All right, all right. I’m coming.

[KATE and ELLIE walk towards a till in the far corner of the stage]

[BLACKOUT]

The End

4 comments about this work Feed