Sitting Out

How would a child react to depression?

A pretty simple question with a normal answer - abandoning her activites of drawing, no longer playing video games, maybe refusing to have chocolate milk before going to sleep.

But that wasn't exactly what I'd done. Instead, I took on a vow of silence, only speaking when spoken to. Not answering my teachers or friends unless it was completely necessary.

During lunch, instead of sitting with the others in the cafeteria, I'd head over to the track field by which they had a few bleachers. I'd make my way to the top, sit down and slowly pick at my Nutella sandwich as I ate in silence.

Death; what a strange concept.

One second you're alive, the next you're gone. Just...nothing. You're nothing but a person who has no heart beat anymore. No proof that you're still alive.

Could it happen to anyone? In just a split second?

Could I go home today and learn that my mom or dad had died - just like my grandfather had?

Those thoughts frightened me into a silence that I didn't break out of for the next few weeks. My first encounter with death as my enemy...it really got me thinking.

None of the others really understood. When I talked to them about 'death', they'd divert the subject to the next Barbie movie that was about to be released. Those small details felt so insignificant all of a sudden.

That event in my life had changed my view of the world, permenently. From then on, everything felt different.

I thought I'd known, but I'd been wrong.

The End

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