Feelings. Weight Issues.
I'm stood here looking in the mirror and all i see is the day before, Take-out, Cola, Stress' of Work, that Lemon Meringue That double cream ! Adding to the Vial Rolls of clogged arteries and risks of becoming more and more overweight.
I sit alone at night and all i can think about is the food in the cupboard and how it makes me feel sick but i want to eat it, eat it for the comfort... tonight i tried to make myself sick repeatedly it's worries me but i know it's the right thing to do in order to help. I want to get it off, i want rid of the horrible consumption from the fridge & the freezer.
Full Fat, Fat Free Whats the difference... !!! I can't see one !!!
Why do i want to loose weight ?! all i do is sit here on the couch in the same spot over and over again and again ! I sit here Greasy, Skanky, Fat, Overweight, Ugly... I say i don't care but all it makes me want to do is cry... more and more... and the worst thing is when i go into a clothes shop knowing i am a 32" jean size only to find i need a 34" because of how they shrink down because of the models. Size 8 - Size 10... what in the world is going on, how are real women meant to compare... except but for a woman to come home from clothes shopping and sit on the bed and cry.
I have been in denial for so long over my weight... i went from 14st 12lbs to 12st 5lbs, in 12 months and still cannot fit into the clothes i want to and look pretty like i want to.. i wish i could do it... i feel myself slipping futher and further into an ED again... and again.