Not A Fairytale


This isn't the kind of fairytale

That you'd wanna tell your kids

But for me on the other hand

It's just got a better twist to it


Verse One

Humpty Dumpty had an affair

And cheated on his pumpkin with a chick so fair

All the kings horses and all the kings crew

Had a ruck on the street that ended up in a feud

Humpty Dumpty walked away happy as can be

With that chick on his arm called Little Bo Peep

Everywhere he walked in town, out came the paps

So he re-evaluated the situation and

Approached his friend Jack

Jack told him 'eh do what makes you happy'

'personally man, I think it's a trap'

News got out about Bo Peep and hit the headlines

A source said that she tried it on 3 times

With Ipsey Wipsey Spider, this was what got out

Ipsey didn't want none of that so he ran back up his spout

And ended up next to Little Miss Muffet

While she lazed on her tuffet

She was pretty down to earth but as naive as a muppet

You see,

She's younger than Bo Peep and prettier than her too

And as you can see, Miss Peep don't like that at all

She just wants to be the only sexy mama do


Chorus Once

This is not a fairytale

I'll tell you what it is

This is just a real life tale

This is what it is

This is what the fairytales really are

How many people do you know

That live happily ever after?


Verse Two

Jack and Jill live up on that hill

Jill takes after her mother

Yeah you know she's not very nice

The nasty girl is really a golddigger

Bless Jack, bless his little heart

He can't even play the xbox with her tearing him apart

But one day she really lashed out

When they was on their hill, Jill pushed Jack down

For apparently cheating on her with a clown

So now Jack lives on his own and feels like he's in heaven

Now he can play his xbox 24/7

Until Wee Willie Winkie comes knocking at his door

He's run away from home cos he can't take anymore

He's dads an alcoholic and as for his mum, he aint sure

She's certainly missing a few screws, that's for sure

So he moved in with Jack and everything was cushty

Now they waste their weeks away, playing Call Of Duty


Chorus Twice

The End

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