**** Somewhat in response, but not completely. For one, there are cultural differences :D *****
We have had another one of our showdowns, and like me, you must be feeling awful about it. We exchanged quite a few harsh words, without really meaning anyone of them. At least that's what I think. Hence this attempt to share my thoughts with you.
Contrary to what you feel, I am not trying to 'arrange' your marriage. I want you to meet this guy just once as I like him very much, and feel that he may be the one for you. If he does not 'cut the mustard', to borrow your favourite phrase, then I will have no problems if we never see him again.
I am aware of the demands on you singletons these days. No one will let you be! But let me explain where I am coming from when I say I want to see you ‘well-settled’. It is nothing weird, trust me. I am just acting out the part of any other mother in the world who believes that her daughter has been escaping the cleaning of nappies and baby poop for a very long time!
Right now you are 27. Life is busy. There is the heady cocktail of an exciting career, eligible bachelors chasing after you, people wanting to fix you up, and you know, generally the cosy life that one builds around the pals that one hangs out with when one is 27. It seems everybody and everything wants a piece of you, and you are happy to spread yourself this thin. This stuff does find it’s way to one’s head, you know, and can keep you spinning.
I feel there is a strange way in which we step into our thirties. Everything is just fine till we are 26 or 27...then the 28th and the 29th year draw closer, and somehow this time you don’t feel like so much of an isolated bystander as you did last year. You tentatively smile back at the growing candles on your cake, and bring to mind the inventory of those people you know who have already crossed, ummm.. well, the ‘hill’. The memory is a willing servant at such times, and only brings forth those examples for whom the years have been kind. They seem to be doing well in their professional and personal lives, have a rich existence, and you think to yourself ‘it can’t be all that bad!!’ Age after all, is just a number.
And so the years begin to stack up into a fat pile.
But have you wondered how life will be when the office scandals cease to fascinate you, and you view all the politics there with a waning interest? What about that period in your career when you have crossed every hurdle created by the sum-total of boss-types listed in famous management books, and couldn’t care less about the latest prescribed method to deal with them? What will you do when the post party tiredness sets-in, like really sets-in...and getting that little black dress ready for another evening out seems like such a chore? And what about the sense of deja vu that you feel at the start of most new books and movies, that you continually blow up your pay-check on?
Welcome to world of remixes! You are on the fast track to winning your own T-shirt that says, ‘Been there, done that.. and got pictures to prove it’!
Of course I am exaggerating a bit here, but really wouldn’t it be just perfect to have someone to call your own when all those nice friends of yours are always oh-so-busy with their boy-friends or husbands, their mom-in-laws and kids’ school ceremonies, or what-have-yous? Someone who does not have to be anywhere, or do anything that does not include you? Someone whose prime business it is to stay put ? Don’t you think it would be nice?
Honey, I know that the few hours that you spend on this dinner can be utilised in a number of ways. But you have to understand that finding your soul-mate takes some doing. He will not parachute into your kitchen garden all by himself, or pop out of your computer screen! Unless, he is a Superhero, which I seriously doubt.
And the last thing - don't do it to make me happy. You always give me loads of happiness in any case.