March 17, 2008

Through the experiences I have had in my life, especially this year, I have come to see a concept in a new light. I already knew that Jesus died on the cross so we could have the gift of everlasting life, but I’ve realized something else too. God revealed to us who the Son of Man is. He gave us the essence of forever. Though we can never be superior like Him, we can still someday live in His kingdom for always. We will get to experience true happiness and feel the essence of forever. Even while we’re on earth, we might be lucky enough to get the tiniest glimpse of what the essence of forever could be.
Though the moments are fugitive, we never forget them. They stay with us for the rest of our lives.

I believe that the joyfulness and bliss we feel remain in our hearts and never leave. The truth stays with us through the sorrow, the anguish, the pain, and finally the triumphs. It becomes a part of who we are. Part of that love is what God has bestowed upon us. He gives us our souls and our lives, and even the keys to the kingdom. Without God, there is no forever.

Yours, Me

April 9, 2008

There are many things in life that make me happy, like a new poem completed, a rainbow, a perfect origami star, a 100% on a test, or a compliment from a friend. Obviously, I am contented with my life and confident in who I am.
But lately, I find it hard to feel proud to be an American. It’s for a number of reasons, such as the wars we are in right now, including the one in Iraq, as well as the wars that have been happening ever since the beginning of time—-people, bitterly conflicting with each other, often over the most trivial things. Just remember what happened when the new Playstation or something-or-other came out. People were shooting each other so they could be the first ones to get it! Even though I haven’t witnessed either of these things first hand, I still have eyes and ears, so I’m not totally clueless as to what is going on in our world today.

I know that we are in the middle of an economic recession, and unemployment is rising. People are getting sick when they have no health insurance, and gasoline and grocery prices are through the roof.
But really, do I know? Alas, it is more than these occurrences that have disturbed me, as well as countless others. Just think about America alone—-we over consume and overindulge. Yet at the same time, we are suffering greatly. True, we have many resources, but we misuse them and still want more. In addition to all of this, there are countries that far outdo us academically. Also, America is plagued with the issue of obesity, but at the same time, we are bombarded with images of what the “perfect” body is supposed to look like. Those images just aren’t real. The longing to be thin has thrown many young people off-track, and has resulted in numerous eating disorders.

In many ways, our nation is a disgrace. However, I am still aware of the things that make America remarkable and special. For instance, sometimes our resources are used for good, instead of evil and destruction. Kind, caring, dedicated Americans work to make the world a better place every day. Also, many people come to the United States seeking new jobs and opportunities. In America, you can be born poor and end up rich – just look at Oprah Winfrey.
Not to mention that we have freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom to be ourselves – but only if we choose it. It is important that we never forget the essence of who we are – for that is something that no one can take away from us. That is, if we value it enough. We must stay true to ourselves and not give in to negative influences, no matter what. And ultimately, in the end, we are all children of God, no matter what our origin, status, or essence.

Yours truly, Me

May 29, 2008

Some things I am meant to search for, others I am meant to find, and still others are meant to remain a mystery. Some concepts I just have to believe, even if I can’t see them—for they explain what I do have the capacity to understand. For example, I don’t completely know the essence of life—but I’ll tell you one thing for sure, I know it’s worth living. So I guess I’m just one of those dreamers who spends hours, days, weeks, months, and even years in deep thought; pondering the essence of life, along with the essence of forever.
But I know they both exist, since I see them all around me. I see truth in the trees, the wind, the flora, the fauna, the fresh rain. I even find it in the pounding thunder that gives my dog, Checkers, a fright.

When I go to church, I am in the presence of God. I’m not there because my parents make me go—I’m there because my soul knows it is good for me. By now, I know that I am a person of faith, and I believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I know that somewhere beyond time and space is a paradise known as heaven.
To me, it feels almost impossible for there not to be a supernatural force that created the universe and loves each creation. Don’t get me wrong—after being alive for 12 years, I’m not oblivious to suffering. But I still know, or at least I think I know, that the world is founded on love. Even though not everyone acts kind or loving, and despite that some people still don’t believe in God, I believe that the love is still present.

It means more to those who practice good works, as well as preach them, than to those who merely preach their so-called “noble deeds.” The true believers are the happier people, especially in the end, because they’re the ones who have learned the meaning of love, even if they’re still pondering the essence of life. For they know that without God, the love would not exist, because God is love. So when I think about it that way, I am filled with faith that in spite of the harsh world we live in, there is still comfort even on the darkest night for those who believe.

Love, Me

August 10, 2008

Sometimes I wonder if the world has anything left to offer me. At times, it feels like all there is left are headaches and heartaches. Déjà vu is everywhere, but at the same time it’s not enough to help me find the true comfort that I’m looking for. Even the pleasant memories and pastimes replay each other so much, yet so little, that it’s a wonder that they haven’t faded away completely. I want something new to hope for; something new to get excited about every day. I need the reassurance that “it’s all good.”
Yet I believe that I am being selfish on this matter; not so much for what I hope for, but for who I wish it upon. Instead of asking what the world has to offer me, I should be asking, “What do I have to offer the world?”
I bet countless other people are feeling the same emotions I am, just for varied reasons. Maybe someone lost their house or a parent or grandparent died. Perhaps someone’s friends truly did abandon them.

After all, if you picture the world today, you’ll see that many people are having trouble holding on when the going gets tough. And really, who can blame them? Not only are they struggling to pursue all of their goals, wishes, and aspirations, but they are also facing the hardship of makings ends meet. All of their hopes, confidence, and motivations to keep going come not only from the prospect of making themselves happy.
They care about God, their families, their friends, their communities, and even the world itself. Sure, it’s okay to be “in it to win it” for the journey called life, but if winning and success are the only factors pushing you along, then you’ll never make it to the finish line. Or if you do, no one will be there waiting for you. You’ll realize that you never had much of an earnest motivation in the first place, and you’ll never know what it truly feels like to be a winner.
I reckon that’s the reason why we have loved ones—we help each other along the way, even when we fall.

Because of them, we have reasons to keep going not only for ourselves, but for others, too.
So even when life seems grim, dark, and shadowy, we can still remember that we’re not alone. For there are people who need and depend on us, giving something more to live for. True, maybe they might leave us, or perhaps we hurt them or take them for granted. Or they may lose our trust because of their actions, or go up to heaven to be with God.
I feel like I took Poppa for granted. He was always there, not just for me, but for our whole family. When he died, I didn’t truly have a real chance to cry. The truth is, losing him was exactly like losing a parent. The only thing that made it easier was that he was older. He was ready to see God.
Alas, if one is willing to love, then they also must be willing to lose. I’m afraid I learned that the hard way. But what would the easy way be? Those words wouldn’t have meant anything to me unless I could actually relate to them to begin with. Now I can.

So perhaps the hard way in this case isn’t the hard way at all. Maybe it’s the only real way.
In the past, whenever things fell apart, there was always someone there to pick up the pieces. But when I feel the scorching inevitability of suffering in life burn down on me; burning me to a crisp, I want to hide. But I know I can’t. I have to learn to fight my own battles, but without fighting at all.
Lo, something that is truly powerful would assist not in fighting, but feeling. Feeling compassion towards others, and learning the distinction between compassion and pity. After all, pity has rarely done much for the world, and self pity has only done harm. But the force and positivity of compassion stretches out for miles. Perhaps if there is self pity, then there can be self compassion as well; except self compassion would not be self destructive.

Perhaps the stable, contented side of oneself could have compassion towards the side that is uncertain, broken, afraid, lonely, and depressed. They could learn from each other and make things better. If all of my faith had compassion towards all of my doubts, without agreeing with the doubts themselves, but rectifying them, then I would be much more at peace.
Maybe I’d actually be thinking, “What do I have to offer the world?” instead of crying over fate or whining over obstacles. I might actually have a chance of getting back on my feet, though wearing different shoes. But maybe it’s been time for change all along.

Yours truly, Me

RATE THIS CHAPTER!

Author guidance for This work

Entries from my journal regarding the matter of spirituality.

updated Jun 27 '09 by SaveTheUnicorns