This is my memory of when my sister died.
The sun shined on the water, and i could feel the clay beneath my toes. we gather the soft material and spread it across our bodies. we all laugh at each other and splash water to everyone. i dont remeber who suggested it, but that isnt important. we decided to do as was suggested and hold our breath under the water. she asked if she could do it to. i remember thinking that she was to little, and might inhale water once her breath ran out, so i told her no, and to go back to the camp and wait for me there. i think i promised her that i would play a game with just her once we finished our contest. so she walks to the shore, and as we start the competition, i see her continue to walk away.
That was last i saw her alive. i didnt stop her. i didnt want to give up the competition just to go play with my sister. i didnt think at that time that i wouldnt see her alive again. i didnt think that i wouldnt be able to play with her again. i came up from the water, and i believe i was next to last up. we continue to play, But after a little while i decided i would go find her and play like i promised. we all started for the shore, and i remeber a woman asking us if she was with us. i replied saying that she wasnt, that i told her to go back to camp and wait for me to play with her.
i dont remeber if it was my aunt or my mom or someone else entirely, but someone was frantic. no one had seen her for some time, and there was no one who could have been with her. i remember thinking about telling the adults about her interest in the hold your breath game we did, but i didnt think it was important. i didnt think about which direction she walked from us either, but looking back i remember watching as she walked down the coast.. not towards camp. i didnt think it was important. i didnt think I was important. after many minutes passed, the adults continued to become more and more anxious. the gathered all of us kids and had us look for her. the did a good job at making us think she was merely hidding, not missing. again, i didnt think my knowledge was important. after all, she was only hidding right? but after a long time passed, or what seemed a long time, they asked if any of us saw where she went. i told them then of her seeming intrest in the game, and that i saw her walk down the beach.
My aunt went to the beach herself to look for her. she looked out into the water and saw something. she saw something floating, and it was pink. the same pink as her swimsuit. Frantically, she gathered the rest of the adults. i dont know what happened for about the next half hour, because all of us kids were kept at the camp and not allowed to go see what was happening. i am extremely grateful for that act of kindness. after a while, we were allowed to go see what was happening. i watched from the ridge as someone tried to perform cpr on her. i had no idea what anything going on ment, but i knew it was sad. after that, i cant hardly remember anything.
The next week and on after that is a blur, and i know not what happened. she was transported to some hospital, and she was treated for things i dont know. i was very young and didnt undestand what was going on, but i blamed myself. i knew that if i had spoken up and told the adults, she would have had a better chance at life. i knew that she would not have done whatever she did if i had not been absorbed in the competition and a little tired of my much littler sister. i could have saved her if they had made us understand how serious the sitiuation was. i could have, and she would be her today. i know she is in a wonderful place, but i only wish i could have done more and allowed her to experience more of life..