Perfection is everything to me. I have traded my happiness, my trust, and my freedom for it. I know that chasing flawlessness is futile, but I will die trying to find perfection. Who am I, if not a perfectionist? Who am I to You, if I am not flawless? Some people are missionaries; others are gifted with incredible abilities to touch others' hearts; still others are known for strong faith, joy, or other spiritual gifts. I am none of these, but at least, You can look upon me and know that I try to be self-sufficient and work SO hard to please You. I know that by trying to save myself, I'm not having enough faith in You, but how can I have faith in You when I'm such a bad person to begin with?
I know that I ought to believe that You are my Goodness and that Your Perfection covers my flaws...I know it's not good to think this way, but over and over again, I've seen that it's not worth it to need anyone but myself. I must learn to be strong; I must learn to be self-sufficient. I MUST.
Perfection is everything.