Idina tries to be perfect. She NEVER shows emotions around Mom and Dad, so guess what! I'm the lucky one who gets the brunt of all her mood swings! I mean, what the music! I was GREAT at hiding emotions - God, I'm trying to be better at not hiding them - but at least I didn't fling them all out at once when I couldn't keep a hold of myself anymore!

Okay, cool down.

God, as much as I believe in Your Power and Love, I have SUCH a hard time believing in Your Forgiveness. And it's NOT because I feel like the longer I feel guilty, the worthier I am - I just cannot feel Your salvation sometimes! And I know that's the stupid devil making me feel this way - but why can't I trust that You have forgiven me?

I know I'm forgiven. My mind knows I'm forgiven. But my heart is constantly condemning me, and I don't even know why! I confess my sins to You, Lord, and by Your Grace, I turn from them. Why, then, do I feel so unforgiven?

Lord, You know my heart. You know You have forgiven me.

Please, let me feel it.


The End

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