03-12-2011, part two
Then, [the friend] and Idina came into the bathroom.
Idina: What's wrong?
Me: Nothing. I'm fine.
Idina: Is it something I did?
Friend: Is it something I did?
The conversation continued like that for awhile. I lied through my teeth. Over and over again.
God, I'm sorry. I've sinned against you by lying and being *intensely* jealous of Idina. I really should have told them how I was REALLY feeling, but I was afraid they would be totally shocked and not understand and totally hate me! Gahhh. Why?!?!?!
Savior, I need to find my identity in You. Why do I keep valuing myself by how other people clearly value me? I know that my personality and appearance are perfect in Your Eyes, but when people pay ten billion times more attention to Idina and not any to me, I get it. I get it! In human eyes, I just don't hit the mark.
Thank-You, Lord, for not being humanly-minded.
I LOVE YOU, JESUS. I love You so much. -♥