03-12-2011, part two

03-12-2011, part two

Then, [the friend] and Idina came into the bathroom.

Idina: What's wrong?

Me: Nothing. I'm fine.

Idina: Is it something I did?

Me: No.

Friend: Is it something I did?

Me: No.

The conversation continued like that for awhile. I lied through my teeth. Over and over again. 

"I'm fine."

"I'm fine."

"I'm fine."

God, I'm sorry. I've sinned against you by lying and being *intensely* jealous of Idina. I really should have told them how I was REALLY feeling, but I was afraid they would be totally shocked and not understand and totally hate me! Gahhh. Why?!?!?!

Savior, I need to find my identity in You. Why do I keep valuing myself by how other people clearly value me? I know that my personality and appearance are perfect in Your Eyes, but when people pay ten billion times more attention to Idina and not any to me, I get it. I get it! In human eyes, I just don't hit the mark.

Thank-You, Lord, for not being humanly-minded.

I LOVE YOU, JESUS. I love You so much. -

The End

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