It was right there: sat on my bed side table. It had been there for more than a week, just waiting to be read. But I hadn't even touched it. Why? Because I was scared.
God doesn't love me anymore.
I'm not beautiful enough.
He doesn't want me to touch the Bible.
I'm unworthy to ever read the Word of God.
I'd driven myself on, believing those lies that my inner demons had created.
Today, I wonder - I'd been so weak. I hadn't been able to resist such thoughts caused by the Devil himself. He wanted to separate me from God and I almost had been once more. But then God reached out to me.
But the crimson-colored Bible was waiting to be read. And in that moment, I felt like God was calling out to me. He wanted me to read the Bible. And so, I reached out and lightly grabbed it before setting it on my lap.
I didn't have any idea where to start so instead, I randomly flipped through the pages. And that's when it landed - spot on - on Psalm 139.