(Not) Welcomed Feeling

I can't do this anymore
I fall on my knees
Awaiting punishment for my weakness
Demons making me blind
No hope in sight
It is their night

Shaking with fear
Not wanting to go to my previous ways
But can I defend myself tonight?
I look in the mirror
I see flames behind my eyes
Small flames starting hell
Causing destruction that I will
Never forget

I can't do this anymore
I fall on my knees
Awaiting punishment for my weakness
Demons making me blind
No hope in sight
It is their night

The worst battle
Started when I needed
To face myself and no one else
Tonight I slowly let go
My previous ways welcome me
Tinkling on my wrists
As if they are happy
About the punishment that is
Just about to happen
Bringing me down to the deepest
Parts of my own hell
Where it seems I belong

I can't do this anymore
I fall on my knees
Awaiting punishment for my weakness
Demons making me blind
No hope in sight
It is their night

Is now or never
My hands shaking
Looking at my own reflection
On the knife
Overrated my power
To control myself
I am saying goodbye
To the better me
Don't try to understand
Why I hate myself so much
No surprise I gave up
Hell seems so much of a nice place
Where you can just not give a damn

I hate the truth
I am who I am
Weak and blind
Small and insignificant
Hopeless and scared
But I am better off
Closing myself in
Pushing everyone away
Than hurting people
That truly care 

The End

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