Part 2

This is where it gets a little bit more complicated, because it's not a physical thing I've done wrong. It's my thoughts. My stupid, stupid thoughts that explode in my mind when I don't want them to, saying things they shouldn't say.

Shall we start with jealousy? For as long as I can remember I've always been jealous of someone. When I was younger it was my friends for having the latest GameBoy - when Nintendo DS's came out, it was those. And then there was me, and I was lucky to have a Tamagotchi. So that was when I was young.

As I got older it was other things. People who were thinner than me, prettier than me, who had a boyfriend when I didn't (although I'm not now complaining!). People who were better at the violin or the flute or the piano than me. People who beat me in tests and got more A*s than me. That was what I was jealous of.

I can't help it. I try and I try but I just can't quash the feelings.

And then there's dirty thoughts. I used to be the innocent one who sat in the classroom and didn't understand why everybody was giggling at the photo of the root hair cell or whatever it happened to be in that particular science lesson. I was the one who didn't get the references -- and now I'm the first to leap to those conclusions. Why? Personally I blame my classmates, but that's another thing I shouldn't do. I blame everybody else.

Then there's the way I can't help thinking people are talking about me when they're not, and the way that I always suspect people of 'fancying' me, and the way that I can't stop everything being about me. There's my arrogance and conceited, self-obsessed, dirty-minded brain ... and I can't get rid of it.

Just don't get me started on rudeness.

The End

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