Morning! How Would You Like Your Mental Illness?

just talking about my depression-
is it just me, or does depression seem to be more common now and days?

the fading sunshine bleeds through cracks in my blinds- is there anyway to just stop time? i need to get myself together, sew myself back up into something that isn't foreboding and wont scare the people in my life away. i need some time for the sun to soak into my leaves,to create sustenance for me and i need a bit of time for my tears to water my roots so i can grow- out of the darkness and into the light, that is my only goal until tonight. i want to be whole again, to not fear for my own life every time a knife comes in sight- i want to feel safe in my own arms, to not be afraid to be left alone.i feel as if my very skin is afraid of me, of my darker tendencies- and that more than anything haunts me. To be afraid of my very own hands- to fear a wrecking ball, a bomb, a decimation, of my own creation. there is nothing i can even say to myself to reassure that i am well cared for and safe-guarded, that my existence is recorded,noticed, needed- that,perhaps, even my old bubbling sunshine spirit is sorely missed.its all made worse by the lack od explanation- the lack of rules,set guidelines that can be followed so that this battle can be won. so it comes to stand that i have no profound words of wisdom to those of you suffering like as i do- no quick fix tricks to put a smile on your face, no calm words to stop the panic from rising- the only thing i have to say is to keep fighting. the sun will find us all eventually, and we will grow- tall,dark, and mysteriously beautiful from our time spent battling to survive against the darkest of all knights- depression.

Stay hopeful, and don't deny the sunshine when it fights its way to you. Accept it. Love it. Nurture it. So that you can grow along with it. xoxo

The End

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