This is my creative writing for school, it's supposed to be based on to build a fire by jack london. I'm handing this in soon could you guys please tell me how to improve it? I know it could be better
The man from Sulphur Creek had been very serious when he said that no man should travel alone in that country after 50 below zero. I really should have listened to the old man. Earlier on today I managed to build a roaring fire, but I carried on. Maybe if I had turned around and actually listened to the dog, I wouldn’t be in this current situation. The dog was intelligent or maybe he, unlike me listened to his natural instinct. This was to stay where you are and wait it out. Wait until it gets warmer. But no we left the safety of the fire and into deaths arms. Here’s what happened today. When I needed warmth and heat as though life and death depended on it, death toyed with me. And I played along. I lit the flame; built a small fire all while my body froze. The flame caught and danced, so did my spirits. For a moment the panic mitigated and I thought all was well. I’ll get to the boys by 7 instead. Then it happened. In the Yukon tundra during winter it snows very heavily. In my case the little pieces had congregated together and formed snowballs up above in the pine needles. Pulling out the sticks to build a fire had caused the tree to tremble, each time a little stick was pulled out. Suddenly one tremble dislodged one plot of snow on the branches. This plot of snows journey downwards dislodged several plots of snow. The result? A domino effect, and a fresh blanket of snow beneath the tree. No fire, frozen fingers, toes, feet, face and legs. I was officially doomed but some part of me refused to acknowledge that sentence. I tried again, but my frozen fingers weren’t even part of my body anymore, I had to look to see whether I was making contact with the matches. Whilst building a new foundation I only had one thought running through my mind. I really should have listened to the old man.