"Everybody wants to be loved. Everybody wants to be understood."
Josh Groban sings these words to me and I sit in the darkest corner of my room, just agreeing with what hes saying.
"Everybody needs to be heard." They do, but some people don't get heard. Like me.
No one understands me. How I feel about life, death and everything else in this all to big a world.
"Don't give up." Well, Josh. Thats what I'm thinking about doing. I just can't handle life anymore.
I shake as tears fall down my face.
"You are loved." You don't know if I am. I think I am by a few people but sometimes even my friends look at me as if I am Simon Cowell.
My brothers trample like elephants up the stairs shouting as they go. My brothers, one of many reasons I am crying now. At only eight years old for both of them, they are the most, well, actually, I can't think of a word. Sometimes they are lovely, buy me things from money Mum gives them... but sometimes... well, lets just say its very different to that.
One of the most lovely people you will ever meet.
She doesn't understand either though. I wish I could just tell her about everything, me crying almost every night and singing, god I love singing. When she goes out with my brothers and I'm all alone, I sing. Just listen to my favourite songs and sing along. When I sing with the people I'm not bad but not good but when I'm on my own, its like listening to 50 cats being dragged along by their tails and getting shaved at the same time. Not a nice sound.
Theres a reason why I'm crying now. I can't do anything right.
Seriously, the only thing I manage to do correct is laugh, well, used to. I don't laugh as much as I did. A few months ago I would've laughed at absolutely anything, but now it only makes me fake smile if someone tells a joke or is being funny.
I know no one has it easy in life, but couldn't mine just be a bit more easier? Please?