basically me pouring out my thoughts and heart about the woman i love

I find it quite amusing.

Everyone, even you give me reasons.

Reasons not to love you.

Not to want to be with you.

Reasons to hate you or run the other way.

But in all those reasons,

No one even asks me my reasons.

Why I want to be with you

Why I try so hard to make this work

Why I love you so much

Fact is even though the last few months

Have been awful, hurtful, deceitful.

I don’t think about that.

I think about all those times you were there.

All those times you chose to love me without reason

Those times when I was hurting and you just held me

When I was afraid and you reassured me.

Even when I gave you reasons to give up, you didn’t.

You make me a better me.

I laugh more, I smile more

And yes, I cry more.

I wouldn’t have given you my heart if I didn’t trust you

You wouldn’t still have my heart if I didn’t still trust you

You have given me reasons to give up

To stop loving you

But I can’t.

I can’t do that to you

I can’t force myself to stop feeling what I feel for you

I promised I wouldn’t just walk away

That I wouldn’t just leave

Those promises still stand until I choose to break them

I swore id be a better person with and for you

And that includes me giving up just because shit got tough

I know you can’t handle a relationship right now

I know part of what you’re feeling is anger towards the world

Towards yourself

I’m not asking you for a relationship

I’m asking you to allow me to wait

To wait for you to decide

Be it to be with me or not to

I don’t care, that is a risk I am willing to take

You are my girl, my world, my everything

You always will be

Until the day you become someone else’s

I know I have made you feel like you are replaceable

That someone else can just take your place

That this is just some game.

But it’s not

No one can ever come close to replacing you

No one can ever take your place.

Loving you is one of the most exquisite things I can ever do in my life.

I’m not gonna be like everyone else.

I’m not gonna just walk out.

And no I’m not staying for you

I’m staying because that’s what my heart wants

Every time I listened to my mind, we fought

We still fight

This is me listening to my heart

The same way I did when I fell in love with you.

The same way I did every time we fought and I was tempted to give up

My heart tells me to stay, to wait

To reassure you that my feelings haven’t changed

That my heart is still yours

That even though everything has changed,

Nothing has.

Though I guess, I did win.

I do love you more

The End

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