This is mostly in reply to Zilla's ideas.
I agree that there should be a battle. We might officially introduce the true effectiveness of black powder, allowing the enemy to use it. Perhaps it could wound some of the characters (though at this point I wouldn't kill another Elliot).
It could kill the character that moved out of the tent to allow Lewis in. (Don't remember the name and I am too lazy to bring up the right page ... he he ha ha!) Lewis could have a hard time getting over that because it would have been him (if the two characters simply traded places in the line up).
The girls could hear of the upcoming battle, getting a message to the army. The army might ignore the message, thinking that the weapon isn't that bad, which would take them all the more by surprise when explosions start going off. And, remember, they wouldn't have known about explosions before this time ... unless I miss my guess.
Another possiblity is that the message isn't allowed to get through, having the same disastrous effects. Or, for some other reason the message doesn't get through ... perhaps a little late. I guess it would all depend on how the message is delivered and how far along we are in the uncovering of the spy network, which I agree should happen.
What reason would Frederick have for going to the Elliots, telling them of the masquerade? (Tip: try to use the word masquerade in the story to reinforce the title.)
- He disagrees with Jon's decision to form the group in the first place.
- Katrina is in danger and needs help.
- He is a double agent and wants to cause disention in the army ranks. (Don't really like this one myself but would be willing to go with it if we developed it correctly. I do think we need some double agents somewhere, though.)
If we make the Elliots run aways, I would resolve that sticky situation by the Masquerade uncovering something, such as more info on the black powder or another attack from the enemy or something that would make the war turn in another direction ... thereby allowing the army to drop the charges. They basically become war heros.
Perhaps Jon doesn't return. They come to him (possibly for reasons stated above).
As far as the "Home Team" POV, I don't see the big deal. We can briefly bring in someone else from the army, maybe even written in third person, if we need something told from the home team's perspective. What about the people left at home? What could we do with them if anything?
The army's perspective could be maintained by Luke and Lewis while they are there. After they leave (if we have acomplished everything else we need to do from the army's perspective), we can turn our attention solely to the masquerade ... and bring the story to a satisfying conclusion, which I have some ideas about and will post in another chapter.
I wouldn't kill Mr. Elliot. Do you really want Mrs. Elliot to loose two of her family? If we do kill him, I would make it at the end and let him go out as a hero, saving everyone. Actually, I have another idea along those lines, which will be posted next.
Katrina needs to find out about Ed, but I would let her brother do it when they meet up.
Comments? Further Luke/Lewis posts? Let'm come!