Thoughts of a Dead GirlMature

SCENE SEVEN: The Thoughts of a Dead Girl

CLARISSA (offstage): You know, the Golden Gate bridge is the most popular place in the world to commit suicide? The deck is approximately 75 meters above the water. After a fall of about four seconds, the jumper will hit the water at about 122 km/h. At this speed, water takes on the properties of concrete. Most jumpers die on impact and the poor souls who don't usually drown or die of hypothermia in the cold water.


CLARISSA: But I'm not stupid. I did the math. You see, the Ambassador Bridge is only 152 feet above the ground. That's about 46 meters, in case you were wondering. They're not smart enough to know that you could survive that fall. After about two weeks without finding a body the pronounced me dead. She examines her nails. But here I am, five years later, as alive as ever.


CALEB: Hey babe, are you ready for this?

CLARISSA (aside): Five years give you a lot of time to plan stuff like this.

CALEB: Come on, the car's out front.

CLARISSA: Coming! (aside) , walking over to where CALEB is parked. You see, I kept an eye out on my dear sister. She ended up staying with Matheus. Turns out the night of my supposed death was also the night she got pregnant, causing her to be shunned by the whole community. Bitch. Then my dear old daddy had a heart attack shortly after, leaving all the money to her. Bitch!

They approach the house from so many years ago and listen at the window.

Male singing:

How I missed her! How I missed her,
How I missed my Clementine,
'Til I kissed her little sister,
I forgot my Clementine.

CLARISSA smashes the window.

CLARISSA: Still feeling guilty, eh Mattie?

MATHEUS (breathless): Clem...

CLARISSA: Yeah, that's right. Glad you didn't spend your life missing me, that would have been unfortunate, seeing as you knocked my sister up.


CLARISSA: Dead? Not quite.

Enter SALLY with a tray of food, which she drops promptly.

SALLY: What the fu –

CLARISSA: Aw, you missed me?

SALLY: Get out. Now.

CLARISSA (amused): No. I'm here for the life that was never yours to begin with. Funny how the brat was conceived on my death day. A life for a life, I suppose.

SALLY: You're crazy.

CLARISSA: Nope, I'm just here to reclaim the life that's rightfully mine. She pulls out a gun.

SALLY: No, not my baby...

MATHEUS jumps in front of the child.

CLARISSA: You're still not very smart are you.

She shoots twice, and child crying can be heard in the background, followed by a screech of tires.

The End

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